Choosing to Love

Choosing to Love

My husband leaves his socks on the bathroom floor, he forgets to take the trash out and he leaves water glasses and coffee cups in various places in the house.  

The honeymoon is definitely over, well it’s been over for almost 19 years but when I wake up in the morning and he is lying there next to me, thank you Lord that he doesn’t snore, I think to myself, “How blessed am I”.  

I went through a phase of complaining about my husband and the things he didn’t do.  I would call my friend on the phone or my sister and talk about how irritated I was at this thing or that.  The thing is, it didn’t change him but it did change me.  It made me more aware of the things that bothered me and I  began to dislike my marriage, my husband and even myself.  

I was listening to a preacher on television, I can’t even remember who now as it was quite some time ago, but he talked about how our words can bring life or death to everything in our lives.  I realized at that moment that I was bringing death to my marriage by the way I was talking.  My words were creating an environment of darkness for my family.  I was choosing to dislike my husband and my marriage.  

I decided to make some changes.  I stopped talking negatively about my husband to everyone I spoke to.  I started talking about how wonderful he was, even if I didn’t feel it, I said it.  I began to speak about how great it was to be married to such a sweet man, caring father and dedicated worker.  I spoke love and life into my marriage and pretty soon I started to feel it too.  I started to see my husband the way I was speaking about him.  I was choosing every day to love him, even if I didn’t feel it.

Love is a choice, not a feeling.  Feelings wane, they dissipate, they die.  But if you make a decision to love your spouse no matter what, that is when healing can take place.

When you speak life into your marriage that is when you will see that you really do love the wonderful person you are married to, no matter how many socks you have to pick up.

Happy Valentines Day!